The first step of downsizing was the hardest step for me. Actually, I think it is the part I still struggle with. I sold my 585 square foot condo and bought a travel trailer. A 30 foot trailer is hell of a lot smaller than my condo.
The first step – #1 – Let shit go.
This has to be the first step. You can not get around it. Letting go is what builds the foundation for downsizing. We hold on to so many things in our life and so much stuff. And by stuff I mean just about anything in our life that effects us in a certain way.
Downsizing is not just about the physical things. Letting go for me was more of the emotional attachment to just about anything I come in contact with over my life. Songs on the radio, old pieces of clothing, photos, YouTube videos, podcasts and even ring tones on my phone. They all reminded me of something. They all effected my emotions. An old job, an ex boyfriend, a fight with a friend or the last time I spoke with my sister.
Because I didn’t feel safe in my home the RCMP suggested I move. Selling my home was not something that I wanted. It might not have been big, but it was my home.
I remember standing in my kitchen after the realtor left feeling overwhelmed. I had so many good memories in this tiny space. Their was also a lot of bad ones. I had put so much money and time into the furniture I had chosen. So much care and attention went into the paint color of every wall. I had invested a lot of myself in this small space.
My dog grew up here. This was all he had ever known. He didn’t bark anymore at the neighbours because the sounds had become familiar. Most importantly, this was his house just as much as it was mine. This was our home, and we had to leave.
Home. That word had so much meaning to me. As I cried in my kitchen, I was reminded of a quote I learned several years ago, “Nothing has meaning but the meaning you give it.”
Home. I had to figure out what that meant to ME. No my friends, my family or popular TV shows. What did it mean for me.
I sat on the floor and cried. A lot. Some sad tears, a few angry and even a lot of happy ones. Crying is a part of who I am. Not everyone will deal with letting go the same way.
However, the reason this is the first step is simple.
If I held on to the feelings I had, I wouldn’t be able to get of anything.
After crying for what seemed like an hour, I stood up and glanced around my kitchen.
My ex husband and I bought a beautiful matching dish set to serve eight. Along with enough cutlery, glasses and even dessert dishes. We never used it . I wish I had thought about downsizing sooner.
Nothing has meaning but the meaning you give it.
I have my own definition for the word home. My own explanation of what home means to me.
This is a place filled only with things that bring me joy. Put in enough space for me and Jasper to be comfortable. Inviting enough that others will enjoy visiting. My bed, my clothing and a few basic items for the kitchen.
I still have boxes of shit to sort through, but letting go of all the emotion and attachments will allow me to move onto the second step.
