They say that life begins at forty. I have no idea who ‘they’ are but since turning 40 myself I have been very curious to find out why this is what they say. Getting older is something that I am not looking forward to. And, let’s be honest, growing up, we identify 40 as being old. Our parents and teachers are 40; they are grown-ups. And as kids, the grown ups are stuck in their ways and have no fun. Why in the world would any of us look forward to turning 40? How could anyone think that life begins at 40?
When I turned 35, the idea of 40 terrified me. I thought that life would end at 40. With many years of life experience now under my belt, I can look back and see this is not a bad place to be. And I can say this with confidence that 40 is not as horrible as I thought it would be.
“They say life begins at forty. Age is just a state of mind. If all that’s true. You know, that I’ve been dead for thirty-nine.” – John Lennon Watch and listen to the song here
1 – WE KNOW THAT AGING IS BETTER THAN THE ALTERNATIVE. Despite all my best efforts, 40 was when I started to have major health issues. I ate healthy, went to the gym, avoided fast food and did yoga. I thought that I had been doing everything ‘right’. I played by the rules. However, I learned quite quickly that no matter how we live our lives, things can still go wrong. For me, it was a blood clot and then a brain tumour. My circle of friends have also been hit with personal struggles and losses. Cancer, car crash’s and sudden death. Most of us hit 40 and have seen first hand the things that could have happen to all of us.
No one wants to get old. Nobody wants to give up soft skin, firm buttocks, good memory and healthy joints. But growing old is inevitable. No matter how much time we spend at the gym, how well we eat or how much outside help we get (botox, plastic surgery) etc. Every single day that we live, we are one day closer to the the day we will die. And I have learned first hand that I will choose to growl old gracefully and happily. Grateful to be alive and thankful to be able to inspire others to do the same.
As we get older, we start to feel lucky to still be here. You can look back at the years you have survived and just be ok with where you are. Take a deep breath or a long walk. I am now at a place were I just hope to age gracefully instead of the alternative.
2 – SEX HAS NEVER BEEN BETTER. We might have some insecurities even in our 40’s. But nothing tops the horrible feeling of being inexperienced and unsure in the first few years of our sexual experiences. Confidence will only come with time and when you hit 40 you have had a lot of it to find out what makes you comfortable. You know exactly what you like, how you like and you are no longer afraid to ask for it.
As a single woman I have also realized a few great things with sex in my 40s. Age gaps are not such big deal. 10 years younger or 10 years older doesn’t phase me. If I meet a man and we have a connection, our ages don’t really come into play. We talk and base the outcome on our compatibility.
Communication in your 40s is much easier. So dating and sexual encounters with others are met with more adult conversations and expectations. It is not perfect, but it is better. Texting and direct messages are easily misinterpreted. But at this age, I am comfortable to call it out and deal with it head on.
More confidence and communication equal more fun in and out of the bedroom. Wether you are single or married take advantage of being in this place. Ask to try something new. If it turns out to be incredibly awkward or not enjoyable, just laugh it off! Just remember your 20 year old self wouldn’t have been so brave.
3 – The perfect time to have a mid life crisis and do something a bit crazy! When we hit our 40’s, most of us have all the basics we need for our survival. We know who we are, have a partner to share our lives, have a roof over our head and a job that pays our bills. Life becomes comfortable. And most of us are not happy with a life that is just comfortable. It is boring.
This manifests frequently as what is called a mid life crisis. And this is usually seen as something bad. But why? You always wanted to buy the beautiful 2-seater roadster but the kids wouldn’t fit? DO IT! Life is short and meant to be lived. Most of us have common sense enough to not blow our entire life savings but seriously… live your life the way you want to.
Why not do something a little bit outside of your box? With 40 years of life experience you have no excuse not to. Not only when it comes to our sexuality, we know who we are. And we have learned to give less fucks.
Getting older hasn’t been all rainbows and roses – but it really does have some benefits.
